did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize