apparently the secret to your success is patron
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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