Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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