Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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