apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
