Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
