Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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