I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
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I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
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I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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