I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
