Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize