my sisters under your porch take her home
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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