i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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