Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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