He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Enjoy the penises
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
