I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
