Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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