yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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