I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize