I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
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