i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
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