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Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
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