I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome