Texts From Last Night

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  (573): View more from Missouri

  how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?

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  (573): how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain? http://tfl.nu/ptj1
  Replies (7) Good night (3260) Bad night (625)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.

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  (703): Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates. http://tfl.nu/cs1d
  Replies (24) Good night (1641) Bad night (4136)
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  (949): View more from California

  just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.

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  (949): just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name. http://tfl.nu/0fqx
  Replies (9) Good night (4403) Bad night (1332)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.

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  (440): So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles. http://tfl.nu/gk4i
  Replies (12) Good night (7355) Bad night (846)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.

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  (404): Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm. http://tfl.nu/cydy
  Replies (12) Good night (6196) Bad night (1060)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.

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  (414): I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome. http://tfl.nu/m7qx
  Replies (4) Good night (3124) Bad night (925)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.

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  (604): Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends. http://tfl.nu/9u2p
  Replies (9) Good night (2605) Bad night (911)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test

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  (910): I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test http://tfl.nu/ucs5
  Replies (4) Good night (1939) Bad night (477)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.

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  (970): bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog. http://tfl.nu/rc38
  Replies (5) Good night (1685) Bad night (439)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???

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  (708): i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal??? http://tfl.nu/az75
  Replies (6) Good night (1215) Bad night (618)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.

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  (413): Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you. http://tfl.nu/55zo
  Replies (4) Good night (1347) Bad night (543)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots

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  (519): I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots http://tfl.nu/46f2
  Replies (17) Good night (2038) Bad night (499)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world

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  (416): Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world http://tfl.nu/enih
  Replies (10) Good night (515) Bad night (843)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk

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  (248): I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk http://tfl.nu/6hfb
  Replies (1) Good night (464) Bad night (268)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.

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  (717): I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing. http://tfl.nu/wa5t
  Replies (3) Good night (400) Bad night (316)

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