Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
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Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
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You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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