Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
