you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
