Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
