just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
