They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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