He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
