bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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