based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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