i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
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She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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