Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
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side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
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I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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