He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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