I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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