I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
