In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
