Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
