I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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