Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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