that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
