i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
