Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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