i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
