idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
