i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
we're making bets on your personal life
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
