you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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