and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
