why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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