we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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