im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize