can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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