so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
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