Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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