I'm really into asian looking animals
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
