i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
