Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
