You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
