i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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