Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
