I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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