so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
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ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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