So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
