i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
