He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize