cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
