.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
